Day two: Progress

The Swagmaster here. It's day two and we are making progress. I saw a post on Craigslist today, which I will try to post with the pictures from it. If that doesn't work (I'm new to this) it was from a guy named Chris in Hawaii and said if a guy could trade a red paperclip for a house, then he wanted to trade his old skateboard for something funky to get him on the way to a house. It's one of those cool old wood skateboards with the funky graphics on it, so I made him what I believe to be an offer he can't refuse. It inviolves me trading my comuter (headed toward a house), plus some other more funky stuff (see my response below) to get us started and then invited him to travel on the first swagmaster tour to Kyle's housewarming.

His post:

Date: 2006-07-16, 9:59PM EDTp>Hey it's cool that guy got his house...I'm not above trying it myself...in fact it sounds fun. I wrote about some similar ideas in Rough Living: An Urban Survival Manual but mostly on the survival level. I freely admit that I was lacking in the mentality of abundance that the paperclip man has exhibited. So anyway...I would Like to trade my skateboard for a house.... I saw that guy that traded his paperclip all the way up to a house and I would like to do the same thing only I don't have a paperclip so I am starting with my oldschool Variflex skateboard pictured below. Help me do the impossible by helping me trade up...somebody out there must have something that is unique and cool that they are willing to trade for this bitchin old skateboard...Maybe you have some obscure original artwork or some funky old thing that has been around for years because it is just too strange to part with...I'm not looking for tupperware or a broken moped...I'm looking for things that are 'interesting' like a fancy stapler or an oil painting of a drunk...or if you have a house...I'll take that straightaway...
Chris Damitio



Below is my response to him:

Ok, Chris, I gotta hand it to you on one hand, but Kyle already did the paperclip thing. I also am trying to emulate him, but I want to trade my old computer for a late model good running car. Good for both of us, but Kyle had the idea, he got famous and it worked for him. It’s gonna be harder for us. Much harder.

That said, I’ll trade you the Computer and something more funky for the skateboard The deal is, one really should travel to the trade partner to do the trade and I generally will, but not to Yahk, BC and not to Hawaii. I’d love to go there, but hey Chris, if I could afford to go to Hawaii, I could afford the Friggin car, pal.

So all that said, are you willing to traveling to the Mainland with your prized Skateboard in an attempt to get this done? After all you don’t expect a house in HI, do you? There a crappy shack in a swamp costs about $7million, so you’re gonna hafta come here sooner or later, so OK, here’s the deal, we can do the Computer, but I know that’s boring, so I also have other stuff. I don’t know about you but I’m bloggin as “The Swagmaster”, which I have dubbed myself (thyself), because I am going to travel around a few times in my SUV with a trailer and big signs all over telling people to pull me over to buy or trade stuff. I’m gonna stop at flea markets and such and trade and sell along the way to get gas, lodging, meals, all kinda swag (shit). I’m keeping it all in a blog which will be prominently posted all over the vehicle, so hopefully it will gain momentum as I go. I tried to get Kyle to follow me on his Blog, but while he was kind enough to answer, he said he had way too many requests for this kind of off the wall bullshit, so he can’t and I understand. Sometimes you just gotta come up with yer own shtick, chris.

All this to get to - - -THE BIG IDEA - - - Ok kiddo, here we go. How about you fly your ass to Jacksonville, Florida and bring yer skateboard. I’ll give you my computer, so that I’m stickin to my original idea, but wait, there’s more. I’ll also give you this very funky old Tiki Bar Beer set I have with the mugs with the liquid trapped in the sides (but one leaked dry) and the tray. Perfect for a HI guy like you and a Florida retiree like me. WAIT! That’s not all, I’ll also include an all expense paid night at the famous “Big Bamboo Lounge” in Kissimmee, FL. This is the ultimate in unnoticable, except by locals, little tiki bar in all of Florida, right on the edge of Disney World. How it stayed that way is a charming story you and whoever you trade the package of computer, tiki bar set and Big Bambo night to will get in full detail. The night will include two draft beers in mason jars on a single sheet of toilet paper (don’t throw it out, save it for your next drink), two Big Bamboo drinks (these taste like Hi C and are nearly lethal) and one microwaved frozen pepperoni pizza. BUT WAIT! That still isn’t all. I wrote and self published a book, which I’m told is pretty funny, called: “The Tomhorn Legghorn Complete Hillbilly Dikshunery”. I’ll throw one of those into the dea too and autograph it to bootl. You are seriously trading up for that crappy old skateboard now, Chris. What a deal you will have to trade up, but you must offer all the stuff in the package for your next trade up, ok?. Hell your half way to that house already. WAIT, it gets better assuming I don’t think you are a total dweeb and you don’t think I’m a complete Asshole, we can set out together in my SUV, with trailer in tow, with signs all over and we start hitting the road, with the destination, before turning back, being, what else, Kyle’s House warming party in Kipling, Sask (I am taking him my top of the line, heavily used, webber gas grill as a housewarming gift). We can blog our adventure, complete with pictures, so people can follow both of our progress. That could well pick up steam and get us the type of exposure Kyle got. It’s kind of the same, but enough changed up to be interesting. Kyle’s party is the first weekend in Sept., so I wanna leave here around August 20. Along the way you’ll have your computer/Tiki bar/Big Bamboo/Hillbilly Dikshunery deal to trade towad stuff that eventually gets you a house and I’ll have my Skateboard to get me toward my car. We’ll also have Kyle’s grill and a whole trailer full of other swag to sell and trade to pay for our trip. What a concept! What a country! Let’s get famous.

So, Chris, I’m callin yer bluff here. Are you willing to work for it like Kyle did? Or are you just thinking you’ll sit in Hawaii and have a house come to you. Kyle worked like a MOFO, I promise.

I’m dead ass heart attach, G Gordon Liddy serious here, so Email me Chris.

Tom Legg
tomhornlegghorn@hotmail.com
or legghorn@gmail.com